


yearning hearts

by hanjt



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2019-03-03 04:01:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13333062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanjt/pseuds/hanjt
Summary: The battle that would change everything. That would either create peace for the rest of the world or start a controversial war.The two boys stood upon the wall, ready for their mission. But that is a lie, for they were only retrospectively the ages of seventeen and sixteen. Far too young.So Reiner decides to turn before they take their leave, possibly being the last time they see each other, and confess to Bertholdt.





	yearning hearts

“Bertholdt.”

The air is cool as they jog along the top of the wall, but it doesn’t bother Bertholdt. His heart is already racing from what is to come. He barely feels the icy draft of wind blowing through his hair, caressing his skin.

“Hm?”

“I don’t know how many times I’ve said this already, but…” Reiner starts, without looking back at him, “The two of us are going to be in separate positions. So think and act on your own for once, okay?”

“Y-Yeah…” Bertholdt says quietly, an anxiety-induced sickness setting heavily in the pit of his stomach.

“You can’t always wait for me to give you orders.”

“Yeah… I know.” Bertholdt says. Reiner doesn’t need him to spell it out for him.

“You’re supposed to be the strongest of all, but you always leave the job to others when it matters.” Reiner continues.

Bertholdt stares at the back of Reiner’s head as they slow to a stop.

“Honestly, I’ve never considered you reliable.” Reiner says.

Bertholdt takes a shuddering breath, the urge to vomit stronger than before.

“I know.” He says, quieter than before from the fear of choking up. Bertholdt is surprised if Reiner can even hear him over the howling of the wind.

“… Until now.” Reiner finishes. This catches Bertholdt off guard, and he stays silent as Reiner speaks up again.

“We’re going to end this, right? Here and now.”

Bertholdt stares at Reiner, determination taking over his own features as he pushes back the dysphoria and hurt. Bertholdt needs this to be over. Not just for him and Reiner, but for all of them. They’ve suffered enough. So he needs to be strong, needs to push through this.

“That’s right,” Bertholdt says, his voice confident now. “We’ll win here and put an end to it.”

Reiner now looks back to him, a longing smile ghosting his face. “That is it. Now keep it up until your loving reunion with Annie.” Reiner says, once again shocking Bertholdt. Why at a time like this would he bring that up?

“H-Hey! I told you, it’s now like th–” Bertholdt starts, feeling blood rise to his cheeks.

“Even Annie would be liable to mistake any bastard who comes in to save her from a life-or-death situation for her prince, including you.” Reiner says, smile fading as he comes to the conclusion of something. “And… Christa.”

“… Yeah.” Bertholdt murmurs.

“I made a promise to Ymir. We’re going to save her, no matter what.” Reiner says, holding a fist up to his chest, over his heart.

“No matter what.” Bertholdt hollowly repeats.

The two turn from each other, prepared for battle, and Bertholdt can feel the same hand that had been over Reiner’s heart touching his back. “See ya. I’m counting on you, buddy.”

Bertholdt clenches his fist and presses it against the small of Reiner’s back. “Leave it to me.”

They begin to go to the opposite sides of the structure, Reiner to his position in the wall and Bertholdt to his with Zeke and Pieck. But before he can jump off, he hears Reiner.

“Wait.”

Bertholdt feels Reiner’s large hand on his shoulder, and Bertholdt turns around to face him. He’s about to ask what’s wrong, when Reiner talks before he can.

“I didn’t want to do this. Not before we go out and kill our old friends and comrades. I don’t want you to be distracted… but I also know this could be the last time we see each other.” Reiner’s looking him straight in the eye, hand still on his shoulder.

Bertholdt doesn’t know what he means. Though he notices that Reiner’s grip has tightened, his eyes are glazed over and holding a deep emotion, a secret.

“I’m being selfish.” Reiner whispers before he’s leaning in and pressing thick lips to Bertholdt’s, rendering the taller frozen. But then Bertholdt is kissing him back, because he didn’t know how much he’d wanted this, how much he wanted, _needed_ , Reiner like this.

Reiner is warm despite the cool air, and his hands feel like fire as they move to hold his face. Reiner’s lips fit perfectly with his, the comforting pressure tender and soothing, reminding Bertholdt of home. He wraps his arms around Reiner’s neck because what else he meant to do with them?

The stand like that for what seems like an eternity. Bertholdt is the one that pulls back, breathes desperately for some air, mind full of clouds. Reiner looks up to him with that same deep emotion as before, and Bertholdt now recognizes it. Love.

“I…” Reiner says, voice small as the emotion spreads across his facial features. Bertholdt stares down to him.

“I love you. I’ve loved you since we were eleven, and I haven’t ever stopped loving you.” Bertholdt hasn’t ever heard Reiner’s voice so raw, so vulnerable. Reiner’s eyes close, the words making the situation real, making it worse because they soon have to leave each other.

Bertholdt shouldn’t say it. He should ignore every single emotion that makes him safe and fantastic, should concentrate on the ones that are saying _this will make everything harder,_ but he knows he’s too weak. His arms are still around Reiner, Reiner’s around his own body; Bertholdt doesn’t know how they’ll ever be able to let go of each other.

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> hi! i didn't proof read this so i apologise if there are any mistakes. thanks for reading!


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